I'm sorry I've been away for forever. Things are so much better than they were...I occasionally have flashbacks/body memories but I feel healed and...amazing. I moved out of the house and am away at college and that's helped so much.
I'm at a loss for words. I'm not going to lie, I'm not sure I feel like I belong because I've been away for so long and because I'm pretty far along in the path to healing.
And speaking of healing...
I thought I was a lesbian.
...until I admitted my feelings for a really good guy friend. I'd actually had feelings for him all through high school - so - for about 4 years. =O
He spent the night and...it was beyond amazing. He knows about the *sa*/*r* and was so tender and caring and sweet. I know that it wasn't a one-night sort of a thing but I'm trying to figure out whether or not to ask him out (he said that he didn't know what to do with what happened when we talked...although I'm thinking this may have to do with the fact that I'm in control of any sexual situation/etc.).
So...hehehe. I'm still floating and on top of the world and I feel...amazing.
I hope all of you guys are well.