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About kflakers

  • Birthday 02/14/1985

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    Los Angeles, California
  • Interests
    playing basketball, talking to friends on the phone, talking online on im, watching tv or movies, go bowling, mini golf, sports, read, write,

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  3. hehe no prob!!!!!!<stomp and clab until hands and feet are achy....>
  4. great post and nod in agreement with amykat and curly. i have accepted <partly> that the childhood a$use wasn't my fault, and am working on forgiving myself. the other it'll take more time to forgive myself,but i feel myself having more empowered/good days than bad and the bad/ugly weren't as 'intense' <counselor taught me intensity> as it was before. i definately still have the denial vs acceptance part, not denial of that it happend..for both i accepted it happend, but denial of how much pain i'm in because of what happend and allowing my emotions and not fight it so much and be easier on myeslf and not punish myself...etc along that line. i do have a lot of guilt not reporting both but i did what i had to do to survive and it isn't my guilt to carry, nor is it fair for me with everything else i already throw on my back. i love and so proud/honored for the compassion and understanding i have of people because of my pain in life, but i accept and admit that i am far from being 'normal' or whatever the terms is. yes the bad days are less but they're still there and some days it's horrific and i still go back to the 'what if' and such....really difficult to fight that and see the light at the end of the tunnel, but i try to focus on the positive of compassion and such i have, as i have always said. 'without pain and suffering. there is no compassion'. you can even find the word PAIN in comPAssIoN....today in counseling i'm finally able to open up<slightly> about my childhood a#use and feel i'm at the place right now in my life, forgiveness on myself then my parents later on. i don't want to keep letting that affect my life and hold me back, life is so much more than what they did and i'm tired of being 'stuck' in that moment of my life...i deserve and ACCEPT/KNOW i want a better life and not feel 'held back' by what happend for more than 10 years. there are lots of quotes that i love that are related to this aspect/post. 'holding on to anger is like holding onto a piece of charcoal, in the end you're the only 1 getting burned.' 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' 'strength does not come from physical capacity, it comes from an indomitable will'.
  5. awesome post and can't be put any other way. will save this and maybe print out later. said PERFECTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we DEFINATELY deserve our lives back!!! <stomp feet to make more noise>
  6. i thank this forum and the friends i've known/met forever also. i can't thank the board enough for existing and it has helped me so much since i joined.....thank you mods and keep up the good work. without this forum, i'm not sure i'd be right now and all. :clap :
  7. welcome hun! (hug if allowed)
  8. welcome Kristal, this is a superb site and sorry to hear your friend have a hard time supporting you, know that we're here for you always no matter what. a real close friend/survivor/sister to me lives in vegas also, or as she calls it "Lo$$ Wage$$" heheh, i'm sure you call it that also as we tourists empty out our wallets there.
  9. Hi.

    welcome! (big hug) this site will help you for sure
  10. You keep living in the past. You act like you have the worst problem in the world and you are this unique person. You should just keep talking to more counselors because obviously the one you're talking to isn't helping. "You just take drugs" <and i don't, unless you count iron sulfate and folic acid for anemia 'drugs'>. do you in a way enjoy playing as a victim? from a friend!!! after i told someone i know i was 'hurt'....and i told her i was offered 10 sessions for free at counseling, she's all..ohh you'll be fine with a simple brush of the hand. and more...
  11. welcome and sorry to hear that you had to endure that. it is NOT your fault....ever! I know you're a very strong gal take your time around here and it is a superb place for support.
  12. thanks! and nope i dont' have that...can i get it for Christmas present? ahhaa
  13. where is the "Carbon copy box" thingie, i looked everywhere and don't see it.
  14. Hi and welcome!!! <waves>
  15. welcoem to the board!! this is a great site and i love that show by the way, SVU. she's an amazing actress and i like her site also, seen it several times