I just found this place a couple days ago, while I was going through the first rough patch I've had in a while. I guess I would say that I am "mostly healed" from my experiences, but although I've dealt with so much of what happened, as life goes on, I am presented with new aspects of what happened to deal with. What I do believe is that you are only faced with what you can deal with at the time, even though at the time you can feel completely overwhelmed and in darkness. When I was just an infant up to two years of age, I was sexually abused by my father. I told my mom as a small child, which prompted my parents to get divorced, and my mom (thank god) got custody. Although I always knew what had happened to me, I managed to push it to the back of my mind for most of my childhood. Mostly the anger that I had at my dad as a child was due to him letting me down in other ways, not dealing with the abuse. I had supervised visitation with my dad until I was 14, and then saw him unsupervised (at that point, I knew he wouldn't do anything because he both knew I would tell). Not until I went to college did I really deal with the abuse--I started having body and emotional flashbacks that had me crying and cowering in the closet. I haven't had any contact with my dad since that point. I got a therapist who was really fabulous, and I worked through all those bad times and made it out the other side (It is possible!) I'm proud to say that I'm now in a healthy relationship with my boyfriend (~1.5 years), one where I am comfortable with sexual experiences (which I was very fearful would cause triggers, etc, but turned out fine).
I'm really glad to be in a community of survivors. Being a survivor is not really something I share with people; my family knows from the divorce proceedings, but other than them I've only shared my story with two close friends and my current boyfriend. I think it will be very comforting to be part of a community where people automatically understand a huge part of you. Oh, and my username refers to what I call my inner child, who I've found often needs attention and playtime and cuddles!
I wish everyone strength and inner peace.
PS--this little guy is just adorable!