Mon45

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About Mon45

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Aotearoa - land of the long white cloud

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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Recent Profile Visitors

171 profile views
  1. Hey Blondie, hi there. Nice to see a familiar person. Fallenstar, Reglois and Struggling, thank you all for your welcome. Going to look into the grief and loss section now. Not having a good day
  2. Thank you Mary. One thing I have learned is this is a journey that is for life. While it may not always be at the front of our minds, when triggered by something, it will come back up. Maybe not as hard and devastating as the previous time, but hard enough to seek out help. I am not sure what I am looking for this time around. I guess just a place that I feel safe, and to see how far I have come.
  3. Thank you Patricia. I must admit it has been an extremely hard past eight months. I am very lucky though in that I have an extremely good psychologist that I have been working with.
  4. Hi there I first joined AS in 2009. Since then so much has happened in my life. I met a lady in the later part of that year on here, who I fell in love with and eventually moved countries in 2012 to be with her. Sadly she passed away last year after being diagnosed with a terminal illness. At her funeral her father triggered my PTSD and I have been dealing with the aftermath of that, mixed in with my grieving for her since then. The other day for some reason I needed to come back here and read some of my prior posts along with those of friends I knew here at the time. This space (AS) was a godsend back then. I had no where else to turn. I met some wonderful people here, that I still keep in touch with. I hope you all get the same help and understanding from AS that I did.
  5. Hi there Welcome to AS. From what I read, sounds like you are from NZ as well. Me too. I really hope you find what you need here. Mon
  6. Briararosa - I totally agree with you - it is all the more confusing to sort out now. Actually its hard as hell. How do you deal with hate and anger when all that was shown to you was love, gentleness and kindness. I was on a course last week where one of the facilitators read out an article where they had interviewed 20 men in prision who were offenders of csa. They asked them if they threatened their victims and most said there was no need to as they groomed them well from an early age. In my case I was groomed from at least 3 years old but maybe a bit before. Its no wonder I thought it was the norm. Please - we really need this thread. Thank you Kelly
  7. Thank you Karen - yes it has been disapointing not hearing anything back. Makes one feel it is less.
  8. From my step-son regarding my not telling my husband of my abuse when we first met ... - had he known your secrets he may not have entered into a relationship with you. WTF - my abuse didn't come up for me until at least 10 years later From my ex husband on the same topic ... - I am not hiding your abuse from the kids like you did to me - if only I knew back then - you F*cking sucked me in. Also from my ex husband ... - I only started to realize where you were coming from when I found out your brothers were involved too. Again WTF - he knew my father abused me for 14 years. Isn't that enough, even without knowing about my brothers. Also ex husband ... But your father only molested you - never had sex with you - not like your brother. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh From my abuser father when trying to justify his actions ... - your mother told me to go bed another woman, but I couldn't, so I turned to you. Hell dad I was only 3 years old. Also from my abuser father ... - I don't want you getting pregnant. Oh so is that why you never had full sex with me?
  9. Hi hun Another kiwi here - north island Hope you find what you are looking for hunni This is a fantastic site Kia Kaha Mon
  10. I think I found her last night for the first time.
  11. I wish I hated you - to father How did you know - to brother 1 I remember what you did - brother 2 I hate keeping your secret - brother 3 (my sisters abuser)
  12. Tulip Thank you for returning I for one have missed you heaps Mon
  13. Welcome Kikimoon I am sure that you will find the support that you are looking for here. This is a wonderful caring place. Looking forward to seeing you around the board Mon
  14. I stayed safe and didn't SI
  15. Scared - good for you hun I went for a walk along the beach