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About jujujolly

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    Tiptoeing thru the shadows on the path of light
  • Birthday 06/01/1975

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    Poetry, Reiki, Nascar, Grey's Anatomy

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  1. Juju, I know it has been awhile since I have even acknowledged you. In fact it has been a year and half since I last posted on this forum or even visited the site. The memories were just to much to bear. *i know you have been calling out to me and I have been ignoring you, till finally you made your presence known and I could not ignore you any longer. You are wanting to work on the issues again. For that I am thankful. I make a conscious effort to block you when all you want is to be heard and make me whole again. Lil juju, I promise this time to make a great effort to unlock the horrible memories that cause me so much suffering and pain. I promise not to ignore you. I will try my best to keep these promises. I have found another EMDR specialist, In fact I go see her next week. This dissocative amnesia has been hard on us, especially when I quit therapy suddenly cause it was all to much to bear. I only hope that you will see I am truely trying and forgive me once again. Lil juju, you have been thru so much and only scratched the surface. You have been brave for showing me the past memories, but I believe you showed me too much at one time and it left me scared, confused, and alone. My support network was not so great at the time. I also plan to see my pdoc about a meds adjustment or change. This can frighteing. Hopefully some relief is in sight. This wild rollercoaster ride of bipolar depression and hypomania is driving me insane. I am ready and willing again to admit I need help. Take care lil juju, Love, Julie
  2. Hello and welcome to AS.
  3. Hello Annie, Welcome to AS.
  4. Hello Tara Welcome to AS
  5. Welcome back
  6. Welcome to AS
  7. Hello and welcome to AS. Glad to have you here, Damian
  8. Dear little juju It's okay to have these feelings. I understand you are scared, frightened, terrifyed, and lonely. However, on that note, you are causing alot of trumoil in the adult Juju. We need to come to a compromise. Wanting to stay in bed all day just staring at four walls, and then up at night is taking their toll on me. The contiunous waves of nausea from food and drink, is making me weak, not being able to keep anything down. I was so scared, I even took a pg test, thank goodness it was negative. A chapter in my life I don't even want to think about if it was positive with everything going on right now. Little juju, you are letting the anxiety and panic attacks control your life once again. Come on now, we are stronger than this, I don't want to be shut in the house all the time like that period of my life I lost for a year becuase I was panicked from everything. I know this journey is only the begining, but don't give up now, nothing ever good comes out of bottling your emotions. You know this. You can only pour so much water into a glass before it starts overflowing. Have faith little juju, we have lived thru the worst part of the abuse, it is over, you are safe, these are just memories, and they can't hurt you. Yes, they hurt, but they and no one else can ever harm you again. Remember that I love you and I am here for you. NO buts allowed, I love you. We can do this. Hang in there, it can only get better. I keep playing for you my favorite theme song Keep the Faith written by rod stewart, listen to the lines, remember them, you have seen the darkest days and you are still here. You are stronger than you realize. We can do this together. These feelings of shame, guilt, self blame, are not yours to bear, the suicidal idealogies, and thoughts of self injury, and just cop outs, they are not real. You are so much stronger than this. You as the adult juju, have a family now, a loving husband, a wonderful son, a caring brother, lean on them, don't shut them out. They love you and I love you. It's okay little juju. Hang in there, we are almost at the top of the mountain.
  9. Hi!

    Sue, I am very sorry your sons were abused. Welcome to AS. Sorry that the circumstances had to bring you here, but we offer you support, caring, concern, and a shoulder to lean on. Welcome and glad you are here.
  10. Hello and welcome to AS. Glad you are here. I am glad we are here for you in your journey of healing. Lean on us. Share when ready.
  11. Hi

    Hello and welcome to AS. Glad you are here. This is a wonderful site, here you will find stories of pain, yet also stories of surrvival, and all are friends here in this journey of healing. I am so sorry you have had to go thru this. Lean on us and let us offer you support.
  12. Hi

    Hello and welcome to AS. Glad to have you here.
  13. Hi

    Hello and welcome to AS. Glad to have you here.
  14. Welcome to AS. Glad to have you here.